Member-only story
Dating In Climate Crisis Australia
Joe is a third-generation sheep farmer. Muscular and rugged from hard work, with a golden tan and short blond sun-kissed hair, Joe is a manly man, with big hands and a beaming smile. From the moment I swipe and land on him, I am hooked.
Initially, Joe makes me wait. Then, a week after my initial swipe, he returns my compliments. Soon we are frequently texting. Our exchanges became bolder, and on Skype over time, matters between us become hot and heavy.
Stuck in a legal office all day, bashing out reports on my Desktop Mac, impatiently I watch the clock until it is 5pm. Only then can I shut down my computer and rush for the Piccadilly Line. The Tubes are always packed, so with standing room only, and on ‘by mistake’ groper alert, I keep my bum against the partition and my bag covering my front bits. It is dark by the time I get out of the train at Cockfosters, the chilling wind and rain lashing my legs.
Back in my apartment, I fix myself a gin and tonic, thinking of manly Joe, grabbing the ears of a sheep and corralling them into a shed. Ever since I read ‘The Thorn Birds,’ I have wanted to return to Australia, where I spent my early childhood, and Joe encapsulates something I have been dreaming about for more years than I care to remember.
Joe asks me to join him over the Christmas holiday period. Joe’s farm is not that close to the sea, but Sandy Beach is 40 miles away, and as he has a cousin living there, Joe assures me we can make picnic trips regularly. The Qantas flight is long and tiring. By the time it lands at Sydney Kingsford Smith airport 24 hours later, I am exhausted. I then have to check in, queue and board a two-hour flight for Corryong.
Virgin Australia
Arriving dazed, I descend the portable steps from the rear of the Virgin Australia plane, and walk towards the tiniest terminal I have ever seen. Apprehensive but excited, I squint in the brilliant sunshine. Waiting with open arms, there is Joe, holding out a bunch of sunflowers. Our first kiss is long and lingering. I have thought ahead on…
